usuratonkachi chronicles
by courageouscoward
Summary: COMPLETE! AU Naruto needs tutoring. Guess who![SasuNaru]Kiba gets tricked. [NejiKiba]Shika and Shino walk and talk...Who, Shino? [Shino and Shika, nonyaoi] interconnected threeshot
1. Naruto gets schooled

**Disclaimer: Kishimoto pwns them all!**

**A/N: Science class got me inspired. I feel your pain Naruto, I feel your pain. talking about science marks here**

**Major Neji OOCness, slight Kiba, Shika and Shino OOCness**

**Summary: High School AU: Naruto needs tutoring. **

**USURATONKACHI**

* * *

**Second Period**

"**I failed. Again." **Naruto, a freshman from Konoha Collegiate Institute, muttered dejectedly as he sat down in his seat. Their teacher just put up their new science marks and Naruto didn't like what he got. Names weren't put up, only their student numbers, so no one else can know what other people got unless they know that person's student number.

Shikamaru, his smart but lazy friend, chirped up. "You never fail. You're just lying." 'Tis true, Naruto never fails. But he's always oh so close.

"You don't understand! Iruka would trip big time. AGAIN. I learned to tune out his lectures, but I just can't take it when he bans me from ramen!" Iruka was Naruto's guardian, a responsible man who teaches elementary in a private school.

"What'd you get anyway?" Kiba another one of his friends, asked.

"NOYB." Naruto mumbled.

"None of my business?! Naruto, it's always been your duty to make me feel good about myself! Come on, spit it out. And stop saying the word NOYB, it's totally stupid." Kiba said.

"Don't you dare insult my special word! It's easier than saying '**N**one **O**f **Y**our **B**usiness', you know. It's only one syllable, compared to five." Naruto retorted. He ignored the comment about making Kiba feel good about himself.

"You're so lazy." Neji, the rich one in their group of friends, told Naruto. "Not as lazy as Shikamaru, but you're a close second."

"Whatever." Naruto buried his head in his hands and started his after-mark moping ritual.

"50." Shino said. Shino was the quiet one in the group, but he was the most observant. He sees signs Naruto unconsciously displays, and usually knows how his friends feel just by looking at them

Naruto remained silent, too caught up in his moping. They were all used to it, so they left their usually hyperactive friend alone.

"I see. Barely passing." Neji said.

Kiba started singing with glee. "I feel good, tananananana, I know that I would now, tanananana. I feel right, I know that I would! So good, so good I got you hoo hoo hoo…"

"Shut up Kiba!" Naruto looked up from his arm haven to glare at his canine-like friend. His eyes fell on a certain person across the room, looking at the mark sheet with a satisfied smirk. "I hate that Uchiha guy. He's the ultimate pet peeve."

"Have you ever considered the fact that you're just jealous because he's good-looking, smart, and popular with the girls, and some boys?" Neji asked, sarcasm dripping from his words.

"You're included in the 'some boys' section, aren't you?" Kiba added. Neji was totally gay, but only their circle of friends knew about his preference. As far as Neji knows, it's none of other people's business.

"Perhaps, at least I'm popular with the girls too." Neji replied.

"Wait 'til I tell them you're gay." Naruto said, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

"Go on, do it. It's your loss anyway. You won't have someone to mooch rejected girls off of. Oh wait, no, there's Uchiha Sasuke."

Everyone in their group laughed, except for Naruto. Even a small chuckle drifted from somewhere underneath Shino's turtleneck.

"You're not funny." Naruto pouted.

"Oh yes I am. Even Shino laughed at that one." Neji said smugly.

"Uchiha Sasuke is a self-satisfied, stuck-up, snobby rich kid who thinks he's better than everyone." Naruto said.

"What's wrong with being rich, huh?" The heir to the Hyuuga Business Empire asked defensively.

"You're a different case. But Uchiha Sasuke is just so…"

"Arrogant?" added an unknown voice helpfully.

"Yeah! He thinks he's all that, but it's all just a bunch of hype. I mean-" Neji was flailing his arms like crazy and Shino kept clearing his throat. Shikamaru and Kiba were sniggering uncontrollably. "Are you guys okay?"

"I-" laugh "ask-" snigger "him." Shikamaru tried saying. As soon as he was done he and Kiba started laughing loudly.

"What's so funny?" Naruto asked, still clueless. "Anyway, as I was saying-"

"How did I become involved in your conversation?" A slick, deep voice asked. Naruto turned around and saw who else but The One and Only, Uchiha Sasuke. **(A/N Bet you saw that one coming.)**

Naruto was unable to speak, so Neji did it for him. "Well, Naruto's devastated with his grade, so he was wondering if you could tutor him since you're the top student in our class."

"Why would I do that?" Sasuke asked.

"Because you're a good man, and you don't like backing out of any challenges?" Shikamaru added hopefully, quickly catching up on what Neji was trying to do.

"W-wait, no…I-" Naruto puttered, still unable to speak.

"Just let us do the talking, Naruto." Neji said to his friend in a patronizing tone.

"Hn," the Uchiha couldn't help but be intrigued.

"Well?" Neji asked, holding his breath and silently wishing for the stoic student to say yes.

"No."

"What? No? Why not?" Neji asked, crushed. The look on Naruto's face after a tutoring session with Uchiha Sasuke would've been priceless! Besides, he had to get Naruto back after his last prank on him. Neji shuddered just thinking about it.

Naruto finally regained his ability to speak. "What are you doing Neji? I don't need his help! I'd rather get an earful from Iruka and be banned from ramen for my whole life. Wait, no, maybe just a couple of weeks. Bottom line is I don't want his help. He can't do it anyway." Naruto crossed his arms in hopes of looking defiant. It didn't work.

"I can't do it? We'll see about that. Meet me in room 101 after school today, bring all your stuff. You better be there on time." Sasuke finished with a glare and walked away.

"You stupid idiot," Kiba slowly said. "You did it to yourself! Hahahahahaha!"

"You're right, Kiba. I'm stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…" Naruto banged his head on his desk repeatedly, for the first time in his life dreading school dismissal.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

* * *

* * *

**Lunch**

"**What if I just don't go?" **Naruto asked, trying to reason with Neji.

"No, that would be unethical." Neji answered.

"Who cares about that? He's going to crack my skull open and fry my brain!" Naruto whined.

"Eww." Kiba said. "I'm eating spaghetti and meatballs man! Now it looks like a brain. With all the squiggly lines going around and across each other, the sauce making it look like blood…hey, this is fun!" Kiba continued slurping his pasta, happier than ever.

"Weirdo." Shikamaru muttered. "You know, he can track you down and find you. He has more than enough money to do that."

"Why the hell would he do that?" Naruto asked, eyeing Shikamaru suspiciously.

"'Cause that's the way those rich kids are. They have this conduct code or something. You can never go back on your word. Isn't that right, Neji?"

Neji nodded and grinned mischievously. "Yeah."

"I never agreed to anything. That makes the conduct code thingy useless." said Naruto, voice laced with pride.

"You never disagreed to what he said either. That is almost as good as agreeing." Neji answered.

"But I'm not a rich kid! I didn't know about the conduct code thingy! It's not fair." Naruto pouted again and started playing with his food.

"Doesn't matter. It's only common sense." Neji said.

"Neji. Please get me out of this! I beg you!" Naruto kneeled in front of Neji and clung to his leg like a wounded puppy.

"What are you- Get off of me!" Neji kicked Naruto off his leg and the blonde remained on the ground, crocodile tears starting to fall down.

"Shino…" Naruto started, puppy eyes now in full function.

"Don't look at his eyes Shino!" Kiba warned.

"I can't meddle in your affairs, Naruto. You must learn to think before you speak. Let this be your lesson." Shino said, looking at Naruto's face but not his eyes. He had fallen victim to the eyes once, and it wasn't a good thing.

"Just go today. Maybe it won't be so bad. If it sucks ass, just run out of the classroom as fast as you can." Shikamaru offered. This seemed pacify Naruto a little bit.

The bell indicating that lunch was over rang, and all 5 of them went to their respective lockers.

Kiba caught up with Neji. "Is there really a conduct code for rich heirs like you?" he asked.

Neji snorted. "Hell no. Shika and I were just messing with him."

"You think Naruto believes you?" Kiba asked. He was starting to worry about his friend. He may treat Naruto like crap, but they're still best friends.

"You believed it, why wouldn't he?" Neji asked. "Are you worrying?"

"Hell no!" He answered a bit too fast. "But that Uchiha guy is kinda creepy." Kiba admitted, looking embarrassed. "What if he hurts Naruto? I can't live with that guilt man. I'm convinced that Uchiha is a cold-blooded serial killer."

"Don't worry Dog-breath, we'll follow him. Just don't act suspicious. I'll see you later."

"Fine." The two separated and went off to their classes.

* * *

**Last Period****  
**

"**Come on, come on, just ring already!" **Kiba steadily chanted, willing the clock to go faster. He and Naruto had French for last period, and he can't wait to get out of the clutches of their evil teacher Mr. Won, a.k.a Ynowk.

"Shut up Kiba! I'd rather be stuck with Ynowk than go to that…thingy. Maybe I should stay and ask questions first or something. Then I can go home. If that Uchiha-bastard finds me tomorrow, I can use this as an excuse and tell him that Iruka called and started looking for me. He can't say anything about that, can he?" Naruto was beginning to grate on Kiba's nerves, talking about what can happen in his tutoring session with Sasuke.

"Dude, he'll be waiting for you at the parking lot. You better just go. Besides, if you stay behind with Ynowk, he might cut your hair off and eat it right in front of you." They started a rumor that their creepy French teacher ate hair instead of food, what with all the hair in the boogers he leaves on papers he had marked and handed back. Naruto shuddered at the thought.

"Eew," he said, distractedly staring at his babbling French teacher. "Fine, I'll go. I mean, it's illegal to kill in Canada, isn't it?"

"You better not be late man."

"Ah crap."

The bell rang and Kiba shot up from his seat, looking as if he was late for something. "Are you going somewhere, or do you need to pee?" Naruto asked, obviously trying to buy some time before he met up with Sasuke.

"Stop stalling. Just go man." Kiba pushed Naruto out of the door and up the stairs towards his locker. "Go. Get your stuff. I'll see you tomorrow." Kiba ran off and left Naruto alone in his locker hallway.

"Damn it." Naruto hurriedly took the stuff that he needed and ran back downstairs, where room 101 was.

Four figures moved from the shadows and into the light. Neji spoke up first, the leader of this 'mission' to see to it that Naruto reached his destination and stayed alive as the stoic Uchiha heir tutored him. "Let's break up into groups. Shika, go with Shino. Kiba, you're coming with me."

As soon as their plans were laid out, they put the mission in motion.

Naruto reached room 101 and knocked on the door lightly before opening it.

"I'm here." Naruto said in a defeated voice, anxious to find out what was in store for him.

"Take a seat." Sasuke said, pointing to a desk facing his.

"Um, okay." An awkward silence ensued as Naruto shuffled to the desk, and it took him a couple of seconds before settling into his seat.

"You need help in Science, right?" Sasuke asked, lacking the haughty note in his voice displayed earlier in the day. He sounded almost…approachable. **A/N They're studying grade 9 Science, 'cause they're in…grade 9.**

"Yeah. I just don't get the circuit thingies." Naruto replied. He was a little bit more relaxed now.

"What part of it don't you get?" There was no trace of malice in his voice, and Sasuke looked like he really wanted to help Naruto out.

Naruto took out a sheet and showed him his diagram. "Why'd I get this wrong?"

"You started the circuit from the negative terminal of the power supply flowing to the positive terminal. It's always from positive to negative. Other than that the rest of your diagram is correct." Sasuke showed Naruto how to do it and Naruto's eyes lit up in understanding.

"Looks like they're getting along." Neji whispered to the others as they watched Naruto and Sasuke interact through the window on the right side of the classroom they were in.

"Way to state the obvious, genius." Kiba said.

"Shut up." Neji retorted.

"Pipe down, ya idiots. They'll hear you." Shikamaru said.

They continued watching the two interact, and as the lesson went on, they seemed more comfortable around each other.

"I wish I could hear what they were saying." Kiba said.

"Open the window, then." Shikamaru answered.

"From the outside?" Neji asked.

Shino opened the window with some unknown special ability and the leaned in closer.

"You know, you're not that bad." They heard Naruto tell Sasuke.

"You too." Sasuke answered.

"They're not studying anymore." Neji declared.

"Yeah." Kiba agreed.

"What do you think they've been talking about for the past," Neji glanced at his watch, "four hours?! It's been that long?"

"Where'd Shino and Shikamaru go?" Kiba looked around and noticed the lack of two more people.

"They both left. Assholes." Neji pouted. "I can't believe they left without telling us."

"Sssshh. Look, what the hell are they doing?" Kiba said in puzzlement.

They could Sasuke dipping his head toward Naruto's. "Oh. My. Gosh." Neji said.

"Eew! They're kissing!" Kiba exclaimed.

"That's so cute." Neji gushed.

"Stop being gay man, you freak me out." Kiba looked at him and trembled inadvertently. "Ugh."

"What the hell? I just remembered, it's Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke! GROSS!" Neji snapped out of his fangirl-like daze and quickly stood up from his crouching position. "That is so weird."

"Let's get the hell out of here." Kiba looked…scared? What a homophobe.

The two of them ran away and didn't bother looking back.

Naruto giggled. "They're gone." Sasuke's face was barely touching Naruto's face. They pretended to kiss to scare Neji and Kiba off. Shikamaru and Shino noticed that Sasuke and Naruto already saw them so they left. Meanwhile, Kiba and Neji were too engrossed in watching them work together that they didn't notice their two comrades slip out.

Sasuke stopped their tutoring session after the circuit topic, using the excuse of wanting to know his 'pupil' better. Naruto agreed and soon they were so encompassed in their conversation that they forgot about their audience. But a certain story triggered the memory, and soon Sasuke and Naruto started planning on how to get them back.

"It worked, huh?" Sasuke asked, his breath tickling Naruto's nose. This earned him another involuntary giggle.

"You smell like pineapples." Naruto wrinkled his nose. It was almost…cute. Cute?!

"Do I?" Sasuke didn't feel like moving his face away from Naruto, so he didn't.

"Yeah." Naruto was beginning to become breathless as a blush spread across his cheeks.

"What do you smell like?" Sasuke was beginning to have fun, so he flirted a little bit more.

Naruto was having fun too, so he flirted right back. "I don't know."

"Let's see." Sasuke dipped his head lower and touched Naruto's lips with his own. He licked Naruto lower lip, asking for permission to enter. Naruto complied, and soon their tongues were battling for dominancy.

Sasuke broke the kiss and licked his lips. "Hmm, strawberry."

"Strawberry." Naruto repeated.

"Same time tomorrow?'

"Haaaaai!"

**End**


	2. Kiba gets punk'd!

**Disclaimer: Kishimoto pwns them all!**

**A/N I decided to add another chapter. Methinks there will be another chapter, although I'm not sure. Sequels usually are not as good as the first one. Stay tuned. - **

**Summary: Looks like someone else is an usuratonkachi too… NejiKiba**

**USURATONKACHI**

* * *

**Neji's Mansion**

"Where the hell are the others?" Kiba complained. All five of them agreed to meet at the Hyuuga Manor on Saturday afternoon but he was the only one present, apart from Neji.

"Naruto's not coming." Neji said. The two were sitting in the kitchen island, eating Haagen Dazs.

"Why not?" Kiba asked.

"I saw him making out with Sasuke in front of my gate. I think he was about to come in but that horny Uchiha distracted him." Neji answered.

"What about Shino and Shika?" Kiba had a little bit of homophobia, and he was feeling a little awkward around Neji.

"Shino's doing something with his dad. Something about a father-son camp with the rest of his dad's colleagues. Shika…he's just lazy. " Neji, thankfully, didn't notice Kiba's anxiety. Yet.

"What does Shino's dad do again? Something weird, right?" The brunette was just looking for something to talk about, since he doesn't talk with Neji much. He usually argues with Naruto most of the time.

"His dad's an entomologist." Neji answered, slowly starting to comprehend what was happening.

"Eh?" Kiba looked at him with a mystified expression. "What does that mean?"

"Oh. Well," Neji started. He decided to have a little fun with Kiba. _Forgive me, entomologists of the world, _he thought. "Well, they study insects." It was the truth.

"I knew it. Something weird. Explains why Shino is like that." Kiba seemed satisfied with himself for making that connection all on his own.

"That's not all." Neji added.

"What else do they do?"

"They cook the insects and put it in pet food. There's a different insect for different nutrients." Neji said. Now _that _was a lie. He was trying not to snigger when he saw Kiba's face.

"Pet food?! You mean like…dog food and stuff?!" Kiba was part of the Inuzuka family, a renowned pet-loving family. Kiba's favorites were dogs.

"Yeah. That means there are insects in your pets' stomachs. That means YOU have insects in your stomach, their nutrients running through your veins and keeping you alive." Neji chuckled evilly inside as Kiba's expression became even more mortified.

Kiba ate a bag of dog food for two days a couple of months ago, as a dare from his friends. His face was purple by the time he was finished.

"GROSS!" Kiba ran to the sink and tried puking. He's seen his sister do it, all he had to do was poke his throat. Right?

"What are you doing?" Neji asked, walking to the sink by Kiba's side. He didn't expect Kiba to be this stupid and believe his lie.

"Trying to puke.'" Kiba gagged, but nothing happened. He tried again, but the back of his throat was beginning to feel sore. "I can't do it. How do you make it go away man?!" He was panicking now.

"They only way to make it go away is…" Neji paused, seeing Shikamaru pass by the doorway, looking for something. "Uh, wait a sec. I just have to go look at something."

"You better come back real quick!" Kiba exclaimed. "My throat hurts. What if I get a disease from the insects? Why didn't Shino tell me anything when I was doing the dog food diet dare?!" Kiba was hysterical, cursing all the insects of the world.

"Uh…here! Drink water!" Neji grabbed a glass off the kitchen island and hurriedly filled it with water. He thrust the glass towards Kiba. "Drink!"

Kiba looked at the glass. "That's not my glass!" He was worried that he might catch homosexuality from Neji.

"Doesn't matter! Gayness is not contagious!" He thrust the glass into Kiba's hand and turned him towards the sink, facing away the doorway. "I'll be back soon."

Kiba hesitantly took a small sip from the glass. "Hmm, purified."

Neji deemed it safe enough to venture into the living room, where found Shikamaru and grabbed him.

"Oomph!" Shikamaru jumped as a hand clasped over his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" Neji hissed.

"Mhi mwhash mlofink mofrs he-"

"What? Oh." Neji took his hand off Shikamaru's mouth. "Sorry. What did you say?"

"I said I was looking for the washroom and some food." Shikamaru and Shino had been in Neji's room a little before noon, but Neji asked them to stay put and then he left .

"I have an ensuite washroom! Besides, I have a mini-fridge in my room. Now tell me what the hell you were doing!" Neji snapped, painfully aware that his friend was up to something.

"Shino and I were getting bored. So we're playing hide and go seek. Is he in the kitchen?" Shikamaru started to go toward it but Neji stopped him.

"Don't! Don't go inside, he's not there." Neji said.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Might as well get some food-"

"Wait! NO! I'll tell a servant to come up to my room and get you whatever you guys want. Just wait for a couple of more minutes."

"Fine, fine." Shikamaru started walking and as he passed by the kitchen, hey waved. "Hey Kiba." He kept walking, even started whistling.

Kiba did a double-take. "Did I just hear Shikamaru?" Kiba went to the doorway but Neji was in his way.

"Uh, no. That was a servant who thinks he's your friend." Neji looked back, as if he was about to scold someone walking down the hall. "You will hear from my father you, you…disrespectful…person!"

Kiba ignored Neji's show and put on his panic-stricken face again. "How do I make it go away man?!"

"You…you can't." Neji was about to tell him the truth about his four-fuck-lie. **(A/N Only those who have heard the hilarious Russell Peters will get this joke.)**

"WHAT?! Anything, just anything! Do I have to crap myself out or something??" Kiba's face paled considerably.

Just as Neji was about to tell him it was all a joke, an idea struck his evil genius of a brain. "Well…"

"Well?"

"You need human saliva to clear out you esophagus and stuff. It's because human saliva has this special…enzyme." Neji was making up things as we went along his deceitful way.

"So I should swallow my saliva?" Color returned to Kiba's face, thinking that his problem was going to be solved soon.

"NO! I mean, of course not. Your body creates your saliva so it won't work. You need foreign saliva, one that your body doesn't recognize, for the special enzymes to work." Neji smirked inwardly.

"And?" Kiba tapped his fingers impatiently, not understanding what Neji was trying to say.

"It means you need another person's saliva to enter you mouth." Neji deadpanned.

"Eww! I have to drink it?" Kiba's face paled once again.

"No. You can…I don't know…kiss someone, maybe?" Neji said in a hopeful tone.

Kiba's face suddenly became serious. "Neji," he said.

"Hmm?"

"HELP ME! I want it to go away immediately! Would you…would you, you know, do it? I mean…like…kiss me?" Kiba's face was red with embarrassment.

"Well," Neji hesitated. "Okay! I mean, you're my friend and all so I'll help you."

"Thanks, you're a pal. So…" Kiba took a step towards Neji. It took them a few very awkward moments to finally lock lips.

Neji was trying to gain entrance to Kiba's mouth, but to no avail. He broke the kiss. "Kiba, how are we going to get saliva in your mouth if you don't let my tongue in?"

Kiba said nothing but opened his mouth when they started kissing again. They were getting into it, Kiba's hand was buried deep inside Neji's soft tresses while Neji had his arms wrapped tightly around Kiba's waist.

"Ahem," someone was standing by the doorway, but the two teens kissing didn't notice. "AHEM." This time it was louder.

Kiba and Neji both looked up, somehow managing to bump their heads in the process. "You okay?" Neji asked.

"Yeah, thanks."

Shino was the one who was clearing his throat. He and Shikamaru were standing by the doorway.

"Well, looks like someone got bitten by the boylove bug." Shikamaru declared, looking at Kiba.

"It's not what it looks like!" Kiba untangled his hand from Neji's hair and escaped from his tight embrace. "He was kissing me because I need this special human enzyme to kill bug nutrients that etymologists put in pet food. I had to eat it for a dare, remember?"

"Entomologists, Kiba. Etymologists are different." Neji corrected out of habit.

"Etymologists study insects. That is their profession. They do not put bugs into pet food." Shino said, sounding a little insulted but still maintaining his monotonous voice.

"What gave you that idea?" Shikamaru asked, ready to laugh.

"Wha- b-but Neji…" Kiba sputtered.

Neji at least had the decency to look ashamed. "You got punked?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "We're out of here. We got too tired of waiting for you guys. Carry on." With that, their two friends left.

Kiba looked Neji. "I got punked huh?"

Neji backed away from Kiba, shielding himself with his hands. "I can explain-"

"Do it again."

Neji blinked. "Huh?"

"You have to finish what you started."

Neji smirked. "With pleasure." He walked towards Kiba with a predatory glint in his eyes, and attacked his lips.

**END**


	3. Shika and Shino share some moments

**Disclaimer: Kishimoto pwns them all!**

**A/N Aaaand…here it is: the last chapter of the Usuratonkachi Chronicles. I had a lot of fun writing them, and I am pretty sad to see them become a finished work. **

**Shameless Plugging: If you want more of my writing, come and read my other fic: In The Right Arms. It's a romantic yaoi story, but it has its funny moments. Lots of it. :D**

**Summary: Shino and Shika walk and talk. Who, Shino? Shino and Shika, not a yaoi pairing**

**USURATONKACHI  
**

* * *

**The 20-minute Route from the Hyuuga Manor to the Subway Station**

Shino and Shikamaru just left Neji's house after suspecting something happening between Kiba and Neji and catching them red-handed. They could've gotten a ride from one of Neji's chauffeurs, but Shino insisted on walking and enjoying the beautiful weather. Shikamaru wasn't too happy about Shino's insistence but it was too troublesome to argue. Besides, it wasn't like Neji was offering. He was too busy exploring Kiba's tonsils.

Shika had his arms folded against the back of his head. "I don't understand why we had to walk. Good weather my ass Shino. You're the one wearing a frickin' turtleneck."

Surprisingly, Shino answered. Normally he wouldn't have justified himself because of such a mundane slur, but since it was Shikamaru, he spoke up anyway. "I wanted to leave the premises immediately."

Shika raised an eyebrow. "_You_ have homophobia?! I never thought that you even thought about those things. Whatever happened to 'I don't care'? Did the hypocritical Kiba rub off on you? "

"I wanted to give them time to…acquaint more with each other. Asking Neji if we could have a ride would've disrupted their time together. I do not become swayed by other peoples' opinions, Kiba most certainly did not persuade me in any way." Shino continued to look in front of him while talking, unlike Shikamaru, whose eyes were trained to whoever he was speaking to.

Shino and Shikamaru are the smart and observant ones in the group, really. They imagine that Neji would've been as passive as they were if it weren't for the fact that he was…well, gay. Neji went to a lot of homosexual support groups and comes back from them somewhat more outgoing than the last time. He hasn't reached the point of cross-dressing though. At least not yet.

"Whatever. I think Kiba hangs out too much with Naruto. Look at how Neji duped him. No sweat!" Shikamaru said.

"I highly doubt it. I suspect that Kiba would have had a fairly ample amount of inkling if he was paying more attention. I believe his reaction to be spontaneous. Or perhaps his subconscious mind was telling him to believe Neji because he knows that Neji is a smart person." Shino explained.

"Yeah. We always knew they'd end up together. It's just so obvious."

Shikamaru was the only one Shino would frequently talk to like this. He barely spoke to anyone else outside their little group, and Shikamaru was the only one who understood Shino most of the time. Heck, Shika was the only one who listened.

They'd known for quite some time now that there was an underlying spark between Kiba and Neji. They even noticed Naruto's deep-rooted infatuation with Sasuke and Sasuke's stolen glances at Naruto. Shikamaru told Neji about his and Shino's assumptions about Naruto and Sasuke, but left Neji in the dark about his blatant (at least to Shika and Shino) crush on Kiba.

They passed by a vending machine. "We're almost there." Shikamaru said.

"…"

And here Shino started his quiet treatment.

"Hey, what happened to you? Just a minute ago you were talking about all the Neji and Kiba spontaneous stuff or something." Shikamaru said. He looked at a silent Shino.

"…"

"Ah. I know what this is…this is the silent treatment."

"Stop talking then."

"HAH! This is record time. It didn't even last for 5 minutes."

"…"

"You know, usually you shut up if I said something offensive. I remember saying 'we're almost there'. How is that offensive?"

"You insinuated stupidity on my part. I _know_ we were almost there." Shikamaru could swear that Shino was almost _pouting_ underneath the turtleneck

"Surely you wouldn't have taken _that _so seriously!"

"I did." Shit, now Shino was _really _pouting. Shikamaru can just sense it.

"What the hell Shino?"

"Nothing." Shino walked over to a vending machine and bought a chocolate bar.

"Are you on your fucking period?!" Shikamaru blurted.

"Shut up."

"What are you doing Shino? I'm pretty sure you're straighter than a fucking ruler!"

"Some rulers are flexible."

"What are you saying, you're jealous of what Kiba and Neji were doing?"

"Did I say that?" Shino looked at Shikamaru and frowned.

"I bet you were thinking it." Shikamaru crossed his arms defiantly.

"Oh, so you read minds now." Shino said sarcastically.

"Yes. I know you best!"

"So?"

"So…nothing!" Shikamaru looked away and stopped talking.

After quite a lengthy period of silence, Shino spoke up.

"You're asexual, aren't you?" Shika was surprised that Shino would start a conversation, not to mention it was about sexuality.

"NO!"

"You're not gay, you're not straight. What are you?"

"I'm…bisexual!"

"Uh-huh. Prove it." Shikamaru could swear that he could see an evil glint past Shino's sunglasses.

"…" Now it was Shikamaru's turn to be quiet.

"I thought so." Shino walked stopped walking and turned.

Shikamaru snapped back to his senses. "Wait! Where are you going?"

Shino didn't reply and continued walking the opposite way.

"Shino! The subway station is this way!" An exasperated Shikamaru followed Shino. They stopped by a black sedan. Shino got in.

"Neji told me that if I confirm your sexuality, I get a ride. To the best restaurant in town. His treat." Shino proceeded to close the door but Shikamaru stopped him.

"You didn't confirm my sexuality! I am not asexual!" Shikamaru worriedly glanced at the driver, but the man couldn't hear what they were talking about. There was a glass window separating the driver from the passenger in the back.

"I did not assume that you were asexual."

"THEN WHAT AM I?"

"You're gay."

"…" Shikamaru's face paled considerably.

Shino smirked. "Do you have anyone in mind."

"You." Shikamaru looked over at his companion with glazed eyes. It was Shino's turn to become pale.

"…" Shino said nothing as Shikamaru started sniggering quietly. His laughter slowly became louder and more uncontrollable.

"We shall never speak of this again. We don't have to tell Neji." Shino finally said.

"Indeed." Shikamaru opened the separating the driver from the passengers and said, "Mr. Driver, to the best restaurant in town please. McDonald's."

"WHAT?! I don't want Mickey D's!" Shino said, stopping the driver.

"Fine you big baby. Chuck E. Cheese then."

"NO!"

* * *

**Well. I think that sucked. Do _you _think that sucked? Tell me. **

**Seriously. Sequels are usually _never _as good as the first one. Ne? **

**This fic kinda had a mind of its own…I didn't know what else to write. And just to clear things up, Shikamaru _was _gay…not sure if he likes Shino…'cause as I said, this fic had a mind of its own. I think they're _faygele_, gay for each other. I got that from Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle. **

**Anyways. Enough of my ranting. I hope you enjoyed my little oneshot-turned-trilogy. Until next time!**

**Ja! **


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